No Kentuckian should have to suffer through ‘conversion therapy’ like I did. | Opinion

My name is Brandon Long. And I am a survivor of conversion therapy.

I first became aware of my sexuality around the same time that Matthew Shepherd was killed for being gay, and that terrified me. I vowed that I would keep my own identity a secret, buried deep inside. I did not want to be murdered simply because of who I was.

Eventually, I did muster up the courage to share my sexuality, and it was in a place where I felt confident and loved: at church. I was sure that God would love me, no matter what.

Each church I’ve attended has offered different solutions to “fix” me. The Pentecostal church attempted deliverance, claiming to cast out demons. The charismatic church focused on ‘inner healing’, placing blame on my parents and urging me to marry. The Baptist church subjected me to conversion therapy, biblical counseling, and accountability groups to “make a man out of me.” Ultimately, I was kicked out.

The most recent attempt to “fix” me occurred in 2019, at the hands of a licensed professional counselor in Northern Kentucky who believed reestablishing a healthy and secure bond between my parent and myself would cure my sexuality. Though all of these efforts to change my sexuality look different, they are all forms of so-called conversion therapy. Conversion therapy refers to a wide range of dangerous and discredited practices that aim to change an individual’s sexual orientation or gender identity — and these practices are condemned by every major medical and mental health association across the United States.

When I refused to endure conversion therapy any longer, my church rejected me. So did many of my family members, friends.

I’m not sharing this to gain sympathy. I share this story to tell people that the dangers of conversion therapy are very much real in our communities and across our state. In fact, 21% of LGBTQ youth in Kentucky reported being threatened with or subjected to conversion therapy, according to data from The Trevor Project.

I just wanted to follow Jesus, but instead, my faith has been hijacked by attempts to change me. Conversion therapy has made me feel isolated, depressed, and praying to die. Conversion therapy does not work — it only causes damage, and it must be made illegal.

You see, the essence of conversion therapy is the belief that my sexuality and personhood are wrong; that I shouldn’t exist. But I do exist. I am not a problem. And the reason I exist is that God decided to create me in His image, just as I am.

In the words of David Zahl, “The longer you live with a mask, the greater the void grows between the mask and the internal reality of who you are. That void becomes vacuous, empty and hollow. Ultimately, you end up being loved for something that you are not, rather than who you really are.”

So now, I take off the mask. I am a gay Christian man. I love God, and He loves me. It is through his love that I find the strength to urge Kentucky’s lawmakers to consider young people across the state who have been made to feel terrified of who they are.

They are afraid of their parents and their family members and other kids at school because they’ve heard them say things like “I’d rather be dead than have a trans kid” or “I’m fine with whatever my child does or is, as long as they aren’t gay.” Kids hear that. They also hear about the anti-LGBTQ laws being considered that make them feel like they don’t belong. Some of them are considering suicide right now, but I know we can send a better message; one of hope and support.

The God I worship wants all people — especially those who are most cast aside by society — to feel loved and accepted. I urge Kentucky lawmakers to follow Christ’s teachings and do the right thing. Ban the dangerous practice of conversion therapy for minors in our state, once and for all.

Brandon Long is a Kentuckian, educator, minister and father, running for State Representative in House District 68 in Campbell County.

If you or someone you know needs help or support, The Trevor Project’s trained crisis counselors are available 24/7 at 1-866-488-7386, via chat at TheTrevorProject.org/Get-Help, or by texting START to 678678.