Mark Story: By Charlie Weis $tandard$, UK's payouts to fired football coaches have been 'bargains'

Quick hitters from the Clooney reception:

21. Charlie Weis. The now-fired Kansas football coach didn't do much winning on the field in Lawrence (6-22) — but has any coach ever benefitted more financially from not winning?

20. Kansas buyout. According to published reports, Kansas will have to pay Weis $5.625 million to fulfill his contractual buyout.

19. Notre Dame buyout. The Fighting Irish canned Weis in 2009 after he went 35-27 in South Bend over five years. According to a USA Today report, the total price of Notre Dame's buyout (which is ongoing) of Weis will be $19 million.

18. Almost $25 million. By my figures, that means Charlie Weis will make $24.625 million over the course of his life for not working/getting fired.

17. Kentucky coaching buyouts. By Weis standards, UK has gotten off light in its (many) buyouts of head football coaches.

16. Joker Phillips. At the time Joker was fired by Kentucky in 2012, UK owed him some $2.5 million.

15. Hal Mumme. Mumme exited amidst an NCAA investigation of UK football after the 2000 season; he nevertheless got a $1 million parting gift from the university.

14. Bill Curry. When Curry got the UK axe in 1996, the buyout of the final two years on his contract cost the school "only" $610,000.

13. Moral of the story: "Fired head college football coach" is the sweetest gig going.

12. More Mumme. Speaking of Gamblin' Hal, Mumme is presently 2-3 in his first season as head man at NAIA school Belhaven, in Mississippi. Kentucky teams have pinned two of the losses on Mumme, 31-27 at Cumberlands and 31-13 to Campbellsville.

11. Jalen Whitlow. The ex-UK quarterback had a standout performance Saturday for Eastern Illinois in a 34-19 loss at Ohio. Whitlow ran 15 times for 112 yards and a touchdown. He also connected on 30 of 46 passes for 289 yards and one TD.

10. Anthony "Ace" Wales. The ex-Central running back, once recruited by both Kentucky and Louisville, had a big game for Western Kentucky as the Hilltoppers won at Navy 36-27 last Saturday. The redshirt freshman ran for 60 yards and caught four passes for 39 yards.

9. Nacarius Fant. The ex-Bowling Green High School star, Kentucky's 2013 Mr. Football, has one reception for three yards so far in his true freshman season as a WKU wide receiver.

8. Those that got away. At least once a year, I like to check in on how highly-touted Kentucky high school football products who left the state are faring.

7. Lamar Dawson. The ex-Boyle County star has made 20 career starts at linebacker for Southern California — but none this year. A knee injury ended Dawson's 2013 season and he has yet to return to action in 2014. USC Coach Steve Sarkisian said last week that the "potential exists" to redshirt Dawson.

6. Jon Davis. The tight end from Eastern High School in Louisville has six catches for 56 yards and a touchdown so far for Illinois.

5. Ryan White. Playing in the secondary for Vanderbilt in Commonwealth Stadium Saturday, the ex-Trinity standout had six tackles in Vandy's 17-7 loss to UK. For the season, the nickle back is third on the Commodores' team with 26 tackles.

4. Austin Collinsworth. A Notre Dame team captain, Collinsworth, a fifth-year senior safety, returned to the Fighting Irish depth chart last week before the Syracuse game for the first time this season. The ex-Fort Thomas Highlands star had sprained an MCL two days before Notre Dame's season opener with Rice.

3. A Kentucky "Black out." UK is asking its fans to wear all black for Saturday's night's showdown with the Fighting Spurriers. Presumably, the UK team will participate by wearing black uniforms.

2. Go Big Gray (or Black). It always fascinates me how worked up some get when a sports team augments its traditional color schemes on its uniforms. For the record, I think the gray and black that UK has worked in with the blue and white on its football uniforms this season have made for some snazzy combinations.

1. Mark Stoops on alternate uniforms. "It's good to change it up. I think our players like it. It's good for recruiting. It's been good for us to spice it up a bit."

This story was originally published September 29, 2014 at 7:03 PM with the headline "Mark Story: By Charlie Weis $tandard$, UK's payouts to fired football coaches have been 'bargains'."