Make U.S. great again, go after Al-gebra

Donald Trump and others have called for a ban on Muslims immigrating to the United States, ostensibly because they assume that all Muslims are radicalized Islamic terrorists intent on instituting Sharia law to replace our justice system. Unfortunately, these brave souls are too late to save us from the Islamization of our great nation because the crafty Arab Muslims have already infiltrated our society with something much more insidious that is wreaking havoc on children and any right-thinking red-blooded American: Algebra.

I shudder to think how many lives have been terrorized, if not outright destroyed, by the demon of this alleged branch of mathematics. Ask any parent of a student in the American public school system about sleepless nights and virulent nightmares of adolescents searching fruitlessly trying to find x. The horror staggers the imagination.

The word itself should have tipped us off decades ago. Algebra is an “Anglicization” of the Arabic word “al-jabr.” An astute observer would have seen the danger immediately by simply pronouncing, as well as humanly possible, the second syllable. JABBER. Anyone who has had to endure the torture of high school algebra classes can readily attest that that is all that goes on in these classes: jabbering.

The truly frightening thing is how early this indoctrination of our innocent youth begins. The Islamization of our society is irrevocably entrenched in our number system itself: we use “Arabic numerals” 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9.

But probably the worst offender is a symbol the Arabs stole from another heretical people, the Hindus, namely, zero. You read that right, 0, as in nothing. Supposedly, 0 is used as a “place-holder” to indicate value by positioning. If that is not a call to proselytize our young people to re-arrange their thinking, I do not know what is. The deviants behind this nefarious school of thought would lead us to believe that 0 simplifies the notation and meaning of a few symbols.

The miscreants who support the use of the Arabic numerals would have us believe that 5, 50 and 500 are improvements over the old Roman numerals V, L and D. Well, excuse me, but if the Romans built an empire using Roman numerals, they are good enough for me. Anyone who cannot add V + L + D without first converting them to 5 + 50 + 500 is probably too stupid to live; God forbid they have already reproduced, perpetuating their imbecility in our gene pool.

If you took the time to research the history of these symbols, you would find that an Italian mathematician named Leonardo Fibonacci, who people referred to as “blockhead,” introduced them to the sane Western world in MCCII (or 1202 for any infidels who may have already succumbed to this treachery). This deviant even has a whole sequence of numbers, the Fibonacci Numbers, named after him. Allegedly, this sequence occurs in nature in everything from art to astronomy to zoology. He convinced the gullible leaders of that time that his decimal point notation facilitated calculation.

This charlatan’s subtle propaganda infected our beloved Western mathematicians and thinkers like Rene Descartes, Isaac Newton and Leonardo da Vinci. Much like modern day snake oil salesmen, the disciples of algebra convinced everyone that they could not live without it. Get a grip, people. How many times a day does the average American need to find the cube root of a number or solve a quadratic equation? Never. Believe me.

So here we are. For years, the communist-leaning liberals sought to replace the customary system of measurement with that tool of the godless hordes, the metric system; fortunately, clean living and a belief in a Christian God succeeded in stopping that encroachment. But I fear that these so-called Arabic numbers have become so inculcated into the minds of our citizenry that we are fighting a losing battle.

We need to declare a new Independence Day when we throw off the tyranny of these subversives who seek to promote multiculturalism in our proud society defined by real American values and nativism.

Vote for Trump on XIVIIIMMXVI.

This story was originally published August 26, 2016 at 6:19 PM with the headline "Make U.S. great again, go after Al-gebra."