Rotten (Big Blue) Tomatoes: Kentucky football players are online film critics, too
Seeking an alternative to Rotten Tomatoes? Consider allowing a few members of the University of Kentucky football team to aid your movie-going experience.
Offensive linemen Luke Fortner, Drake Jackson, Logan Stenberg and Mason Wolfe comprise UK’s “Movie Men,” a quartet who each week rate and review movies following the team’s weekly trip to the cinema. Last year they started discussing rating movies internally to pass time on road trips, and this year they’ve made their ratings available for public consumption. A search for #moviemen on Twitter will quickly yield their scores.
Most weeks, even on the road, the team will bus out to a theater; UK will rent a screen for the squad. In the rare instance that option doesn’t materialize, they’ll peruse Netflix for something appetizing (such was the case this year at South Carolina, when they took in “American Psycho”).
Their system is as subjective as any other, but their ratings catch the eye because of their extra level of preciseness. An example: Their four scores for “Zombieland: Double Tap,” which they watched before making zombies of Missouri, were 4.70 (Fortner), 5.97 (Jackson), 5.00 (Stenberg) and 3.83 (Wolfe).
What necessarily accounts for the .07 difference between a 3.83 and 3.9? It’s entirely dependent on who’s reviewing the movie, and, really, doesn’t matter too much in the long run; Woody Harrelson and Emma Stone probably aren’t losing sleep over Wolfe’s non-endorsement. Things really start mattering as the numbers get bigger.
“If it’s gonna be 8-plus, it’s gotta be rewatchable,” Jackson said. “So, if it’s an 8-plus, it means you’d sit down any night and watch that movie. You’ve gotta have some method for your madness.”
Among the four, only two have handed out scores of 8 or better: Jackson and Stenberg each scored “Joker,” starring Joaquin Phoenix, an 8.09 and 8.21, respectively. Wolfe tip-toed to an 8, awarding it a 7.98.
“That’s a movie I’d watch again to see some more details that I missed,” Jackson said. “An 8-plus is a really good score. You’re probably only gonna get one or two movies like that a year.”
The four players are serious about their scores, but most of the team is in the house for these screenings. Who decides what will be most pleasing for a group of 80-100 men in their late teens and early 20s?
“We have a couple leaders on the team, we get together and pick the movie for that week,” Stenberg said. “It’s always based off of what we think the masses will like, whatever the whole team will like. And that’s hard to do sometimes, believe me.”
Fellow offensive lineman Landon Young abstains from the official ratings; his tastes most of the time don’t align with those of the Movie Men. He’s personally generous with his “8s” because he’d go re-watch many things again with a date or friends outside the team, and likened their rating system to that of the one Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy uses in his one-bite pizza reviews.
“They are just so critical and so harsh on ’em,” Young said with a laugh. “They’ll come in and rate something like, a 4, and I’m over here going, ‘That’s a 9.6. That was great.’ But I just have a different view of movies. I just love the senseless action, blood and gore, the stupid comedy in it. Dry comedy, that’s what I like. But they’re just like, ‘Eh, that was too much action, we’re going to deduct it 4 points for that,’ and I’m like, ‘What?’”
Bests and worsts
“The Meg” came out last year but left a bad impression on Jackson and Stenberg, both of whom called it the worst movie they’ve ever seen.
“Don’t see ‘The Meg,’” Stenberg said bluntly.
Stenberg is into superhero flicks. Thor’s his go-to.
“The hair, the muscles and everything,” Stenberg said. “He’s pretty cool, the God of Thunder.”
His favorite movie is “The Shawshank Redemption,” which was nominated for seven Academy Awards. Jackson’s a big fan of director Quentin Tarantino but hasn’t gotten to see his latest effort, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.” Another Tarantino picture tops his list.
“I’ve rewatched ‘Inglourious Basterds’ a million times,” Jackson said. “I love it. I love the intro scene, I love the end, I love everything about that movie. That’s such a quotable movie.”
Coach’s take
Offensive line coach John Schlarman loves that his unit has bonded over cinema and their assessment thereof but isn’t about to get in on the action himself.
“I let those guys be the Siskel and Eberts of the world,” Schlarman said with a grin.
He hasn’t gotten out to a movie theater lately but reeled off some personal favorites: “Braveheart,” “Forrest Gump,” and “Caddyshack.”
“I don’t know if any of those guy have even seen some of those movies to be honest with you,” he said with a laugh. “I’m dating myself. Those are the ones that I’m more inclined to watch.”
There’s at least one film that he and Stenberg see eye-to-eye on.
“’The Shawshank Redemption,’ it’s hard to not watch that if it’s on TV,” Schlarman said. “You’ve got to stop and watch that for an hour or two.”
Next game
Tennessee at Kentucky
7:30 p.m. Saturday (SEC Network)
This story was originally published November 1, 2019 at 7:48 AM.
